Thursday, April 16, 2009

Shh...SHUT UP!

Why does the f'ing UPS guy always have to drive up after I've gotten the baby to nap? I swear to all that is holy, if he rings that damn doorbell and knocks again tomorrow I am going to jerk a knot in him. And why do you need to ring the doorbell twice and knock twice? Is this part of UPS training? Between you and the Jehovah's witnesses that keep circling the neighborhood, it's like Grand Central Station on my porch. Just knock and leave the damn package on the door. You know I have a new baby, you've seen my disheveled, smelly self when I've had to sign for packages. Have a heart, and just SHHHHHHHH.

To the Jehovah's witnesses, what's with all the furious recruitment efforts of late? If I'm correct, aren't there only so many spots in heaven per your teachings? So here's a thought, if you stop recruiting, you're guaranteed a spot. If you recruit me, who's to say that I wouldn't be taking your spot? That would really suck for you.

6 comments:

Preppy Pink Crocodile said...

You crack me up!! Why not tape a note over the door bell that says don't knock or ring the bell- have a baby- just drop the package in the name of all that's right in the world and call it a day. Thanks.

Stacy said...

I've thought about doing that, but I don't want a note on my door in case random people come by. We live in a somewhat shady neighborhood, so I don't want to alert people that I'm home alone with a baby.

CRICKET said...

I so can relate, "don;t these people realize they are ruining your day and possibly night"! Naps are eseential to our sanity...

The Spinellis said...

your blog looks pretty-so glad you updated :)

Breezy said...

Perhaps a sign that says "Please do not ring bell, any noise alerts the attack dog". I mean, no one has to know you don't have an attack dog.

Kristin said...

I f*ing hate that UPS guy. Sadie freaks out and barks everyday when he comes and he thinks its funny to take a moment to stand in my yard and taunt her as I am (nicely!) kicking my dog and telling her to shut up because I have 2 kids sleeping. As i do this the UPS guy stands and and says "Sadie, girl, hey puppy" Go the F away, you obviously see me frazzled and know I have kids sleeping. Why do they have to knock at all? Your truck is so damn loud we know your here. ARRGH! I feel your pain!!!