And So I Say, Good Day To You Sirs!

To the douche bags that robbed my car Sunday night/Monday morning - you suck! How dare you come on to my property and break into my car! While we're at it, what's up with the trashing of the car? Did you let a wild mongoose loose in there! And hello, you got like 15 Cd's...wahoo for you. Are Cd's even worth anything anymore? Did you earn anything from stealing from me and my neighbor? Seriously, what are you gonna get, like $40? What a profit. I'm sure it was worth the possibility of being caught and jailed.

While I thank you for not causing any permanent damage to my car, I am wishing you nothing but bad vibes for disrupting my idea of safety at my home. I want you to know that while I am a democrat, I am very republican in my view of guns. I am a proud NRA member (unless it's expired, or if it matters that I didn't change my maiden name yet...but you get the point). And I swear upon all that is holy - if you ever come on my property again and I even hear a crackle of my grass, I will shoot first and ask questions later.

And also, I will have you know that the soundtrack for the Sound of Music is a Julie Andrews and Rodgers & Hammerstein classic. I am somewhat offended that you left it behind when you rooted through my music choices. Get some culture, jack-offs!